First Birthday Party: Do's and Don'ts

L had her first birthday party just last weekend. Besides being a wreck because I am the mom of a one year old who suddenly has an opinion and new found independence, the party made me into a monster. 

First off, I checked the weather like a mad woman. Rain: 30% chance. Okay, fine. Of course, the morning of, it is POURING. Cue me crying because it said there was a 30% chance, what the hell? My outdoor first birthday party is ruined. Even with a tent. It's ruined. 

So here comes my partner to the rescue to calm me down and tell me that it isn't ruined and the rain will pass. So fine, I let it go but it left me in a sour mood for a few hours. 

Lesson one: stay calm and don't let little things ruin the day because there are much worse things that can happen. Stay tuned.... DO stay calm. DO enjoy the little things. DON'T hold onto small nuisances. 

The party was going great, until like 5 or 6 when my partner's dad arrived. Part of me hopes he reads this sometimes because there will be more posts about him I am sure... 

Here we all are, enjoying the party. It seemed like the moment he arrived, the mood shifted. I technically didn't invite him. I specifically told my mother in law that her dad should come. I invited my partner's sister separately also. I don't really know why he came considering his dislike for my partner. I guess I just knew this would happen. 

DO be specific about who is and isn't invited. DO stand up for your partner. DON'T bite your tongue.

Needless to say, L's party became a shit show. The constant bickering between my partner and his father was childish and his mother yelled at me to break it up. How about this? YOU break it up. YOU control your husband. All he does is talk about money and about himself. He can't talk about money when he's more poor than we are and he definitely shouldn't talk about himself at a party that isn't for him. My partner feels the need to get defensive because his dad constantly attacks him. I had to step in. Nick asked his mom what he did to ever make his dad not proud of him, asked what he did so wrong in his eyes that he's not good enough. He asked all this with tears in his eyes and his mother said, "Oh that's not true." And I had to step up and tell her it is. It is true. The only person your husband is proud of is your spoiled brat daughter because she did well in school and that is all that mattered to him, but Nick dropped out and chose to work his ass off and has a family now and that's not enough. Instead, he gets bullied by his adult father. 

DO stand up for what is right even if it's a special day. DO put family first. 

There will be more on them later. 

Alright, next lesson on the first birthday front.... Photos!

DO hire a photographer. DON'T do it yourself. Enjoy the party. Let someone else take good, professional photos and ensure you capture all the memories you want! 

CAKE!

DON'T make a super sweet cake. DON'T put a lot of frosting! I had this giant cupcake with lots of frosting made so it would be cute and messy. It was. Until after her bath when she puked on my mom. Too much sugar gave her a bad stomach ache. She also had tummy troubles the next few days. 

To end this post, take a lesson from me and DON'T keep your child up until the party is over. You will regret it for days to come. It took us three days to get her naps and bedtime back in check, and even today, it still isn't great. She stayed up until 11pm on her birthday party night. The next day she cried for two hours while I kept trying and trying to get her down for bed. The next day, she was down by 8pm but woke up twice. And finally, last night, she was asleep by 7:30pm, her usual, but woke up at 4am and didn't go back down until 5:45am. DO keep bedtime routines the same regardless of the party. Or.... DON'T schedule a late party! Ours started at 4pm for the sake of my dad's work schedule. Stupid me. 

I hope you find this helpful when planning your child's first party or subsequent parties. Thanks for sticking with me while I vented a little. Just remember to always put your child first. It's their day so stand up for that!

Love,

The Honest Mom